Friday, July 17, 2015

Chapter Sixteen-Eighteen: In Which Tessa Gets Triple-Dog-Dare Drunk and Things Get Random


We readers are currently entrenched in a riveting game of Truth or Dare at a frat party (definitely NOT a middle school sleepover), and Tessa's new not-friends find out that she's a virgin. Big surprise. Now, it's Hard-On's turn to do Truth or Dare. I will give you $0 if you can guess which one he picks.
It's also time to take another drink (I know, it's so soon in the chapter, but it's literally in the second sentence), because she notices Hard-On's green eyes for the billionth time. And, of course, when his eyes aren't rolling, they're boring into hers, which is what they're doing when its Tessa's turn to dare him. Oh, but wait, that's not how Truth or Dare works. ANYONE can dare him to do something, so I'm not sure why she suddenly falters...
"not having really thought this out, or expecting to be met with such a reaction."
Well, we know Todd didn't go to college and has never had a hangover, so we should just add never playing truth or dare too.

This chick is so unreliable, it's hard to figure out what doesn't surprise her rather than what does. It's confusing because, in the very next sentence, she mentions knowing that, no matter what she dares him to do, he won't back down from it. So she knows him, but also doesn't know him... Confused? Welcome to club.

She stutters a bit on her dare, and Hard-On, of course, snaps at her. She contemplates daring him to
"say something nice about each person in the group but I decide against it, however amusing it would have been."
I actually wouldn't have minded seeing this, but Tessa chickens out and internalizes once again. The grammar in this sentence also bugs me: "however amusing it would have been." It just doesn't sound right out loud. Like the entire book doesn't sound right out loud.

Flogging Molly makes an equally-appealing dare, which is for Hard-On to take his shirt off and leave it off the rest of the game (and at this point it seems like it might just go on all night). Here's what Tessa thinks about this dare:
"I'm glad. Not because Hard-On will be taking his shirt off, of course, but because I couldn't think of anything and it eases the pressure of my having to give him orders."
Of course.

Her denial is both annoying me and replaying the above gif from How I Met Your Mother over and over in my head. OF COURSE she could never be attracted to a guy like Hard-On. Which means, of course she's going to fall for him.

Oh, honey...

Anyone else notice in that quote that she doesn't want to give him orders? That's such a strange way of saying that she doesn't want to dare him to do anything, but it just seems to be foreshadowing things to come. Like he'll be the one giving orders and she'll just follow meekly like a good little soldier-who-gave-her-virginity-to-an-asshole.

Hard-On remarks that the dare to take off his shirt is juvenile, but does it anyway. Of course, it's time to ogle some hot tattooed asshole body for Tessa. We can also chalk up Hard-On having tanned skin as another thing that surprises Tessa. In fact whenever Tessa is "surprised" by really dumb things, TAKE A DRINK.

Also, any time she says "of course." She's so in denial that we need to drink for her pain to end. So, yeah, drink now!

The fact that she's a church-going, Jesus-loving good girl is reinforced when,
"Steph nudges me, and I tear my eyes away from him, praying that no one saw me staring."
Once again, we find Steph being a good friend despite the fact that Tessa claims her only friend at the school is New-Guy Landon. Also, tearing her eyes away from him sounds painful.

As the game goes on, Flogging Molly kisses two of the guys in the circle, Steph talks about losing her V card, and
"Nate kisses the other girl."
Umm... What other girl? I don't remember any other girls besides Steph and Flogging Molly being mentioned. But, of course, this girl doesn't get any playing time because that would mean Todd would have to give her minor characters any substance at all.

After giving that little rundown of the game so far, Tessa wonders...
"How did I find myself in the middle of this group of hormonal college rock-and-roll misfits?"

I laughed so hard at this. I'm still trying to figure out how all of those words strung together mean something, but I'm also curious as to how Tessa continues to be blind to the fact that she's an eighteen-year-old girl and therefore hormonal. Sure, she acts like your typical bigoted eighty-year-old grandmother, but in reality she's just a hormonal prude that's only done some over-the-pants action and refuses to acknowledge that she's sexually attracted to anything.

The only thing missing from these "rock-and-roll misfits" is the sex and the drugs. But, who knows? We'll just have to see how the night plays out.

Tessa's next dare is to take a shot of vodka, to which she says that she doesn't drink.This night is just full of surprises! Nice Nate tells her that she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to, which is so sweet. I just love this kid. But Flogging Molly and Hard-On share a laugh at her expense, so she agrees to one shot. This forces Hard-On to to give her a "strange look" instead of a contemptuous one. She must've just blown his mind with that one!

But Tessa doesn't really live up to her dare; she takes the cheater's way out by taking a swig off the bottle rather than pouring an actual shot. So, really, she didn't do anything very rebellious. Of course, it tastes horrible (although vodka is the most tasteless alcohol money can buy), and the group claps at this feat she's mastered...
"everyone except Hard-On. If I didn't know him any better, I would think he was mad or disappointed. He is so strange."
Literally everything about this passage contradicts itself. She DOESN'T know him any better. That's the whole thing. She hasn't taken the time to get to know Hard-On, otherwise she'd have a better read on him.

But she figures he's just a strange guy (not intriguing at all, of course) and moves on to take more shots of vodka. I suppose the circle has figured out this girl's weakness and is so ready to exploit it.

See, the problem I have with all of Todd's characters is that none of them are consistent. It's almost as if she wrote this knowing that certain events had to happen in each chapter, and she just drew a character's name out of a hat, and had them do it. It's seriously pissing me off because it means there's literally no character development.

Once Tessa has had a few more shots, we find that she's an alcoholic in the making:
"I have to admit that I feel pretty relaxed for once. I feel good. With this feeling, everything seems a little easier. The people around me all seem a little more fun than before."

I guess Todd's words of the day for this segment were "seems" and "little". I could go dirty with this, but maybe you get my drift already.

It's ridiculous that this is the first time EVER that Tessa feels relaxed (or, at least, that's how the quote says it). Belaying that, it's kind of depressing that she needed alcohol to feel comfortable and have fun of any kind. When Tessa says that everyone else seems more fun, it's actually her that's being more fun. I'm just not a firm believer in letting the alcohol set the groundwork and pull the plow for what your relationship with people is going to be like. Then again, that's the kind of stuff most college friends are made of.

Tessa apparently decides that she needs to be having even more fun because, for her fifth time, she takes,
"two big drinks of the vodka before it's ripped from my grasp.
'I think you've have enough,' Hard-On says and hands the bottle to Nate, who takes a drink." 
I'm honestly torn between wanting to give Hard-On a high-five and taking the bottle back from Nice Nate and taking a couple chugs just to spite Hard-On. I think this is going to be one of the first signs that Hard-On wants to control Tessa's life, and while I do think she was drinking too much, especially for her first time, Hard-On is the last person who should be telling her how to live her life.

To this event, she thinks to herself (notice how it's all in her head?),
"Who the hell is Hard-On Scott to tell me when I have had enough?"
Does anyone else NOT remember his last name being Scott? Or is it just me and my selective memory loss?

Because Scott is so much different than Styles... UGH. Creativity is dead, everyone.

Well, Tessa's not taking it! Her reasoning is,
"Everyone else is drinking, so I can, too."
I really think Todd stores up her commas somewhere, sets a reminder on her computer, and when it goes off she has to put at least two commas that she's been saving in whatever sentence she's writing at the moment. Because I can't think of any other plausible reasons for why she does what she does.

Tessa then snatches the bottle back from Nate to take a drink again,
"making sure to give Hard-On a smirk as the bottle touches my lips."
No words, just a gif:

This next passage is a real gem, because we get to drink twice! I know, I need it too. Let me just put this quote here and then we'll divvy up the alcohol accordingly:
"'Hard-On, truth or dare?' Molly asks. He answers "dare," of course. 
'I dare you to kiss Tessa,' she says and gives him a fake smile. 
Hard-On's eyes go wide, and though the alcohol is making everything more exciting, I really just want to run away from him."
Okay, here we go.

First, drink for the "of course." At this point, she doesn't need to say "of course" because it's redundant.

Second, drink for something happening because fan fiction, AKA the sometimes-lover Flogging Molly daring Hard-On to kiss Tessa, the village prude with a virginal boyfriend.

My final say about this passage is about what Tessa thinks about this. Hard-On is supposed to be a love interest, and yet Tessa has the urge to run away from him (not the kiss, but HIM), despite the fact that the alcohol has made everything more exciting. I mean, it's sad when even copious amounts of alcohol can't make this guy appealing.

Tessa deals out the "no, I have a boyfriend" card, which makes everyone laugh, and she wonders,
"Why am I even hanging around these people who keep laughing at me?"
Wow, being laughed at really is a hot button for her.

Oh, Tessa, let me count the ways of why you're hanging out with these people:
  • You're a masochist, plain and simple.
  • Your computer died because fan fiction and you thought, well, I have nothing better to do than go to a frat party with people I hate.
  • On a deeper level, she went because she really wants to fit in, and despite the fact that she's out of her element, she wants to enjoy college, no matter what her controlling mother thinks.
    • I wonder if Todd got this far in her analysis of her MC...
In fact, the entire bottom half of this page is a gem. Take a gander:
"'So? It's just a dare. Just do it,' Molly says, pressuring me. 
'No, I'm not kissing anyone,' I snap and stand up. Without looking at me, Hard-On just takes a drink from his cup. I hope he's offended. Actually, I don't care if he is. I'm through interacting with him. He hates me and is just too rude."

Yup, the word "just" appears four times in this section.

I love how Todd tells us that what Flogging Molly is doing is pressuring Tessa. Like, no way, I couldn't tell! Ever heard of show, don't tell? No?

Then, when she snaps at them, she immediately looks at Hard-On, seeking his attention. When he doesn't look at her, she hopes that he's offended. Now, I could see him being offended if she specifically said that she wouldn't kiss him. But she made a pretty broad generalization, so there's really no reason for him to be offended.

And, well, she calls him rude, so drink!

She goes outside and drunkenly decides to call Golden Boy (AKA Noah), proving further that she's a masochist. They say hi, and with only two words spoken by Tessa, Golden Boy asks,
"'Tessa, are you drunk?' His voice is full of judgment. I shouldn't have called him."
I'm seriously concerned for this girl right now. Golden Boy is a total asshole; who is he to judge her? The thing I wonder is how would he know if she was drunk if he's supposed to be this goody-two-shoes? Maybe he's not who he seems? And a guy you've been with for two years shouldn't be judging you like that. Then again, they haven't explored much on the intimate side of things, and I feel like that really connects couples solidly and on a deep level, so that could be it.

She ends the conversation with,
"'No...of course not,' I lie and hang up the phone." 

She turns off her phone completely and goes back inside, finding her not-friends still playing truth or dare. Then she wonders...
"Are they my friends? I don't think they are. They only want me around so they can laugh at my inexperience. How dare Molly tell Hard-On to kiss me - she knows that I have a boyfriend. Unlike her, I don't go around making out with everyone."
Seriously, this girl does NOT like people laughing at her!

I apologize for nothing.

It's nice to see that Tessa is once again her bitchy, judging self. Because there's only one way to live your life romantically, Tessa. And, besides, it seems like Flogging Molly is a generally happy person, so isn't possible that her making out with a bunch of guys makes her happy?
"I've kissed only two guys in my life, Noah and Johnny, a freckle-faced kid in third grade who kicked me in the shin afterward. Would Hard-On have gone along with the dare? His lips are so pink and full, and my head plays an image of Hard-On leaning over to kiss me and my pulse begins to race."
I'm pretty sure the whole shin-kicking thing is an omen of things to come with Hard-On. She really is a glutton for punishment.

Then we take a detour into Randomland in the same paragraph as the shin-kicking incident, and Tessa finds herself wondering what it would be like to kiss Hard-On. This girl's mood swings really are terrible. We could chalk it up to being the alcohol that's doing the thinking, but she's had these feelings when she's sober (she even wonders in the next lines why she's thinking about kissing him, but, again, she thinks about these things while she's sober). She must already be able to look past the lip ring that she hated so much, despite how she thinks him to be "too rude."

When the room begins to spin from the alcohol, her feet become the only rational part of her and they take her upstairs to an open toilet. She decides there that she's ready to go back to the dorms, but knows that Steph won't be ready for a while.
"I shouldn't have come here. Again."
Anyone experiencing deja vu?

After realizing she won't throw up, she pulls herself up and finds herself in
"the only room I'm somewhat familiar with in this oversize house."
What about the room you, you know, slept in your first night there? No?

Also, it should be "oversized" not oversize. Get it together Todd.

She notices that Wuthering Heights is sitting next to Pride and Prejudice, and I'm mentally begging Todd to stop with the references to Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters. Luckily, Tessa takes the attention away from my anger at the author, reminding us what a Judgy McJudgerson she is:
"He has obviously read it before - and understood it - which is rare for our age group, and for a boy especially."
It amazes me how little she thinks of people, especially someone she's supposed to be attracted to at this point. Obviously, right now, it's merely a physical attraction, which I can understand. But I can't see her falling for this guy, especially with how he's treated her and continues to treat her.

She grabs Wuthering Heights and opens it randomly to the middle...
"My eyes scan the pages and the room stops spinning."

This leads me to seriously consider that, not only did Todd not go to college, but she's obviously never been drunk in her life. She got hangovers completely wrong earlier in the book, and now she thinks that the drunk spinning stops when you try to read something instead of intensifies.

Tessa is SO enraptured by the words of the two unlikable main characters of Wuthering Heights, that she doesn't realize that Hard-On has entered his own room. Let's not get too crazy now. And of course, he comes in right when she's reading a book in his room, because fan fiction (DRINK)!

They have a total Beauty and the Beast moment where he yells at her, she stutters out an apology, he yells "Get out," and she calls him a jerk. Hard-On brings up a good point, though, because he's told her specifically not to come into his room, and yet here she is. I'd be pretty pissed off too.

Then, Tessa just loses it...
"And with Hard-On looming in front of me, seething with scorn and making it seem like I'm the worst person on earth to him, something inside me snaps. Any composure I had snaps in half, and I ask the questions that's been at the front of my brain without my wanting to acknowledge it. 
'Why don't you like me?' I demand, staring up at him. 
It's a fair question, but, to be honest, I don't really think my wounded ego can take the answer."
WHOA. Watch out; she's gone nuts folks!

Ah, yes, "seething with scorn." That's how I often look when I find an annoying, unwelcome girl in my room.

Also, this:

SNAPS FOR DAYS! I'd love to just "snap" and make it so this fan fiction never existed.

And that's exactly how this lovely chapter ends. Not what I would've chosen but, hey, what do I know?

After blurting out her question, Hard-On's glare is "aggressive. But unsure." Just how I like my men.

Hard-On wonders why she's asking him this, and I can see why. She doesn't show that she likes any of them, so why would she care if he hates her or not?

She explains,
"'I don't know...because I have been nothing but nice to you, and you've been nothing but rude to me.' And then I add, 'And here I actually thought at one point we could be friends,' which sounds so stupid..."
Okay, Patrick.

Let's analyze this line by line:
  • "because I have been nothing but nice to you": NO YOU HAVEN'T!
  • DRINK because she called him rude.
  • "And here I actually thought at one point we could be friends": NO YOU DIDN'T!
  • You are stupid and you should feel stupid. Also, you're a liar liar pants on fire.
Hard-On tells her why they aren't friends and could never be friends, which mostly involves him assuming that she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. That's not such a far-fetched idea since she dresses preppy and is, as he says, "too uptight." At this, her mouth falls open (which reminds me of her mother's all those chapters ago), and she snaps back, calling him a jerk and gives us all her sob story, about starting to work at 16 just to help pay bills. She says she happens to like her clothes...
"'sorry if I don't dress like a slut like all the girls around you! For someone who tries too hard to stand out and be different, you sure are judgmental about people who are different from you!'"

It's funny that she's judging him so hard, but she's the one trying to fit in with these people, and she judges them just as easily as Hard-On judges her. They're just two sides of the same coin, and I still maintain the position that they deserve each other because they're BOTH terrible people.

Here's another editing gem that I just had to share:
"I turn around so he won't get to remember me like this, and I notice that he's balling his fists. Like he gets to be angry about this."
It's interesting how she's already thinking about how he's going to think about her when she's gone, instead of just seeing her that way now. So assuming! But it's funny because she turns away from him, yet she's able to see his balled fists? Methinks not.

He sure as hell gets to be angry about this! Let's recap, shall we:
  • You're STILL in his room, which he's asked you on multiple occasions to vacate.
  • You're reading his book without his permission. That's reason enough in my book (ha, book...).
  • You're drunk and refusing to leave despite the fact that he's made it clear he doesn't even want to be friends with you.
  • Everything you just said to him is the pot calling the kettle black.
She then tells him she doesn't even want to be his friend, which is a little moot at this point. Turning to leave, the vodka, which had made her feel so honkey-dorey before,
"is also making me feel the sadness of this situation, of our yelling."
NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS! Even in their own head.

Now, this is where it gets weird, and I want to shoot myself.

He asks her where she's going, which makes her think that he's "unpredictable" and "moody," and to which she answers that she's going to the bus stop and never coming back again...
"'I am done trying to be friends with any of you.'"
Since when have you been trying to be friends with them? SINCE WHEN?

Okay, now try to keep up and be wary of Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey references:
"'It's too late to take the bus alone.' 
I spin around to face him. 'You are not seriously trying to act like you care if something happened to me.' I laugh. I can't keep up with his changes in tone."
Does this sound remotely familiar to anyone? When will we get to this point?:

Hard-On covers his ass by saying he doesn't care, he just thinks it's a bad idea. Then she's like, well what choice do I have, I'm drunk, we're all drunk, blah blah blah, she starts crying. For some reason, this makes Hard-On, like, make a joke? Kind of? Here, just read it yourself:
"'Do you always cry at parties?' he asks and ducks his head a little, but with a small smile."
I don't... I'm not sure... What do I do with this? He was just yelling at her, and she continues to be a bitch even after this rare moment of...whatever this is. This is less "changes in tone" and more like terrible writing of an unreliable main character. Seriously.

When she reaches for the door again, he calls her Theresa, so DRINK! Apparently, his unreadable face when she turns back around makes the room start to spin again, suddenly making her a damsel in distress. She sits on the floor and hiccups, eliciting this response from Hard-On:
"'If you throw up in my room...' 
'I think I just need some water,' I say and move to stand up. 
'Here,' he says, putting a hand on my shoulder to keep me down and handing me his red cup."
Ah hell no! Keep her down? There's definitely a better way Todd could've written what was happening, but once again this is a sign of things to come for these two.

Now, it turns out that Hard-On doesn't drink, because what's in his red cup is water, not beer. And he doesn't drink either, and I can't find any evidence of his drinking alcohol in the chapters before this one. Tessa laughs it off, asks if he's going to babysit her, and then suddenly decides to say, "You bring out the worst in me."


They sit in silence for a bit while Tessa tries to get her nausea under control. The first thing Hard-On asks (after asking if he can ask her a question) is what she wants to do after college. Okay, random boy...

At this, she looks up at him with new eyes... I wonder when she got new eyes...

Ha... Sorry, it's after midnight for me right now.

Point is, Tessa is confused by this line of questioning. She manages to answer, and I manage to hate Todd even more:
"'Well, I want to be an author or a publisher, whichever comes first.'" 

*tries to cool down*


She asks Hard-On the same question, to which he rolls his eyes, and then she asks if those books are his. He says they are, and she asks what his favorites are. Here's where we find another FSoG example:
"'I don't play favorites.'"
Sexually? Like Christian Grey never had relationships with anyone, until Ana?

He then randomly asks if Golden Boy knows she's at a party, calling him Mr. Rogers, as well as claiming that "He is the biggest tool I have ever seen."

Pot, meet kettle.

Tessa's response to this and the conversation afterward is pretty entertaining though:
"'Don't talk about him like that, he is...he is...nice,' I stutter. When Hard-On laughs, I stand up. He doesn't know Noah at all. 'You could only dream of being as nice as he is,' I say sharply. 
'Nice? That's the first word that comes to your mind when talking about your boyfriend? Nice is your "nice" way of calling him boring.' 
'You don't know him.' 
'Well, I know that he's boring. I could tell by his cardigan and loafers.' Hardin's head rolls back in laughter and I can't ignore his dimples.' 
[she tries not to laugh at her boyfriend's expense; how kind of her] 
'Well, he has been dating you for two years and hasn't fucked you yet, so I would say he is a square.' 
I spit the water back into the cup. 'What the hell did you just say?' Just when I think we can get along he says something like that. 
'You heard me, Theresa.'"
I know that was a long one, but you really had to have the whole thing in context.

It's always great to hear someone talk about their boyfriend as nice, nice, and...oh, right, nice. The thing is, though, that Mr. Rogers isn't nice. He's judging Tessa at every turn, and I'm pretty convinced by now that he's doing her mom.

Then we have Hard-On, who's just as bad as Tessa when it comes to judging people, and does this same thing with Lover Boy. Poor, poor loafers; always getting a bad rap. Tessa has no problem noticing Hard-On's dimples in the process of humiliating her boyfriend though, so there's that.

Okay real Harry Styles, stop being so gorgeous... Damn dimples.

Then Tessa tries not to laugh at her boyfriend along with Hard-On, which is a bitchy thing to do. He shocks her with the whole not-fucking-her-yet thing, and then she thinks that stupid thought about getting along. Honestly, was she not there for that entire conversation? Was she too focused on his dimples while he laughed at her boyfriend? Seriously...

She calls him an asshole and throws a fit by tossing the water in the red cup at his face, getting the shock factor that she wanted before storming out of the room. Downstairs once more, she meets up with Zedd and his friend Logan. Though she'd sworn off alcohol in Hard-On's room, something about their conversation must've changed her mind because when Logan offers her some nondescript liquid, she takes it.

Tessa asks her ever-present question of where Steph is, and Zedd says he thinks she left with one of the other guys, Tristan. She internally swears at Steph, then thinks about how they'd be a totally cute couple, and then wallows in the drink. No, she's not moody at all.

A whole fifteen minutes have passed and she's laughing with Logan and Zedd, then suddenly bringing up that Hard-On is an ass. This reminds of the word-vomit issue from Mean Girls...

"Soon the crowd starts to die down and I start to feel tired."
I guess a whole lot of things are starting...

Hard-On suddenly appears (of course), and sees Zedd's arm around Tessa, and assumes they're together, asking her in a voice "thick with an emotion that I can't quite register." UGH

She tries to leave (to go where I have no idea), but Hard-On grabs her arm... She claims she's still trying to find out about the bus but there's literally nothing else to find out; she's just drunk at this point. Hard-On responds with:
"'Chill's three a.m. There is no bus. Your newfound alcoholic lifestyle has you stuck here again.' The glee in his eyes when he says this is so mocking that it makes me want to smack him."
The glee, while extremely creepy, is described so weirdly. I can't imagine that, in her drunken stupor, she's able to tell that the glee is mocking. I'm not sure I could tell that just in a person's eyes if I was completely sober. Todd just has such a way with words...

She goes back to hang out with Zedd and Logan while Hard-On nods in some sort of understanding. She then tells Zed to take her upstairs to find the room she stayed at the party before. Because that's not sending the wrong kind of signal...

They find the right room, but it looks like there's already some passed out guy in there. But I guess Tessa figures it's better than nothing because she declares that she's going to wait in there in case Steph comes back. Surprisingly, Zedd doesn't push the issue with Tessa almost inviting him to bed, and he leaves her with a quick hug goodbye. Zedd's not bad; I've decided I like him on a trial basis. Then Tessa does something DUMB:
"The door closes as he leaves and I can't help but lock it."
Dumbass locked herself in with a complete stranger who just happens to be a frat guy.

But she's safe at least for a couple minutes. In that time, she thinks about what Hard-On said about her and Mr. Rogers not sleeping together yet. She thinks about the other fun stuff they do together, like going to movies and taking walks. Riveting, truly. She chalks it up to Noah being a gentleman, but a guy can have lots of sex with different women and still be a gentleman about it; it's all about perspective, something Tessa so does not understand.

Just as she begins to drift off, the passed out guy in the room decides to wake up. BECAUSE FAN FICTION; DRINK BITCHES!

Then, well, this chapter suddenly takes a serious turn. The guy gets all up in her face, saying,
"'I'm not going to hurt you - we're just going to have some fun.'"
In this moment, I feel something other than hatred for Tessa.

But then, she decides to be a badass, and knees him hard "right there" and then she runs out the door straight to Hard-On's room. I guess she really is a glutton for a punishment; I would not feel safe with Hard-On either. Of course, at this point, Hard-On's only wearing boxer briefs (black, like his soul). He scares off the creepy guy from the other room with one look. And then, surprisingly, Hard-On is really sweet about it, making sure she's okay, asking if he touched her. He even lets her sit on his bed with him.

Tessa tells him that this is the last time she's going to come to the frat ever, or to any party anywhere. She starts to cry thinking about that guy touching her, and Hard-On wipes a tear away from her cheek. Then, despite thinking nice thoughts about Hard-On, she still manages to call him rude, so DRINK!

He mentions that he never noticed how gray her eyes are (how he could tell in a badly-lit room, I have no idea) and he leans towards her, taking his lip ring between his teeth, which seems to be turning Tessa on.


I think what the author is going for here is that the good moments outweigh the bad, but they definitely haven't so far. Not even close.

When to take a shot or take a sip of something alcoholic:
  • Tessa calls someone or something rude or boy.
    • And if it's rude boy... double it.
  • Tessa refers to tattoos in a bad light
  • The chapter ends with a mysterious someone appearing, and that mysterious someone is Hard-On.
  • The chapter ends with Tessa falling asleep.
  • Tessa judges Steph without warrant.
  • Every time something in the plot happens and I say, "because fan fiction" or any variation thereof.
  • Hard-On calls Tessa "Theresa"
  • When Tessa comments on the green of Hard-On's eyes.
  • Whenever Tessa is "surprised" by really dumb things.
  • Any time Tessa says "of course" when it comes to not being attracted to Hard-On.

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