Friday, July 17, 2015

Chapter Sixteen-Eighteen: In Which Tessa Gets Triple-Dog-Dare Drunk and Things Get Random

THESE CHAPTER SYNOPSES ARE BASED ON THE PRINT BOOK PUBLISHED BY SIMON & SCHUSTER, NOT THE WATTPAD VERSION.



CHAPTER 16
We readers are currently entrenched in a riveting game of Truth or Dare at a frat party (definitely NOT a middle school sleepover), and Tessa's new not-friends find out that she's a virgin. Big surprise. Now, it's Hard-On's turn to do Truth or Dare. I will give you $0 if you can guess which one he picks.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Chapters Thirteen-Fifteen: In Which Tessa Makes an Actual Friend

THESE CHAPTER SYNOPSES ARE BASED ON THE PRINT BOOK PUBLISHED BY SIMON & SCHUSTER, NOT THE WATTPAD VERSION.



CHAPTER 13
So after the disaster that was Tessa's first party, NOT paying attention to Hard-On tapping his fingers on the steering wheel of his car on the the way back to the dorms in the morning, and Anna Todd not knowing what a hangover is really like, we find Tessa ignoring Hard-On, who she can hear him in her head even when she goes shopping for actual things to fill her dorm room.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Chapters Ten-Twelve: In Which Hard-On is EVERYWHERE

THESE CHAPTER SYNOPSES ARE BASED ON THE PRINT BOOK PUBLISHED BY SIMON & SCHUSTER, NOT THE WATTPAD VERSION.



CHAPTER 10
We last left our heroine Mother Theresa balling her eyes out because Hard-On told her she wasn't his type. Oh, the horror! This leads her to the conclusion that she hates college so far, and she wonders many things, like
"Why couldn't I just get a roommate who was more like me?"

Chapters Seven-Nine: In Which Hard-On is At Least a Cultured Asshole

THESE CHAPTER SYNOPSES ARE BASED ON THE PRINT BOOK PUBLISHED BY SIMON & SCHUSTER, NOT THE WATTPAD VERSION.


CHAPTER 7
Last time, we were left off wondering just how in the world Tessa is going to survive her first college party. Probably with a lack of poise and overall being a bitch, as always.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Chapters Four-Six: In Which Tessa Judges Everyone

THESE CHAPTER SYNOPSES ARE BASED ON THE PRINT BOOK PUBLISHED BY SIMON & SCHUSTER, NOT THE WATTPAD VERSION.

CHAPTER 4
At the end of chapter 3, Tessa rushes back to her dorm room with wet clothes and only a towel around her, and comes to find the asshat Hard-On alone in there.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Chapters One-Three: In Which the Lack of Control Begins at Home

THESE CHAPTER SYNOPSES ARE BASED ON THE PRINT BOOK PUBLISHED BY SIMON & SCHUSTER, NOT THE WATTPAD VERSION.


CHAPTER 1
Last time, our heroine was regaling to us all how everything was going to work out. But chapter one is where we really start our story.

"Others may count sheep; I plan."
I don't know why but this just made me laugh. It sounds like planning for college is what's keeping her awake, but people count sheep to help themselves fall asleep. So does she use planning to fall asleep or does it keep her awake? We may never know.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

The Prologue: In Which I Get a Little Overzealous

I want to first preface this blog with the idea that I'm reading this book for the first time. These synopses don't involve reading it through all the way and then reading through it again. I want my surprise and disgust to be documented in a true fashion. Also, I don't particularly care about One Direction; I literally own only one of their songs (What Makes You Beautiful) and when the only other one I like (Story of My Life) comes on the radio, I'll listen to it. I'm attracted to hot British guys just as much as the next person, but I don't see how this is fan fiction of the band, and I don't see why a 25-year-old married woman would be interested in writing it. I also don't see why it's okay for young people to think that it's okay to be treated like they're worthless just because the guy is hot and "tortured." Hence my involvement.